Monday, November 14, 2016

Now.


I awoke on Wednesday morning feeling like I was living in an alternate universe. I felt deflated and exhausted since I had fallen asleep crying a mere four hours earlier. I replayed the vision of how I expected Election night to go - dancing to Chaka Khan’s ‘I’m Every Woman’ on the eve we elected our first female President. I imagined going into my office at Planned Parenthood and embracing all of my amazing coworkers. We did it. We were heard. We made them see how important our work is. We were validated. 


I began to cry again as reality set in. 

I spent that morning wallowing. I ate my feelings. I took the results so personally. More personally than I’ve ever taken an outcome before. As I passed by a group of older white men talking casually about how ‘they’re really going to have to build that wall now!’ I thought to myself, ‘How lovely it must be to be this unaffected.’ In that moment, I felt the weight of the consequences from the decision our country had made. I felt the abrupt dismissal of so many already marginalized and oppressed people- people of color, women, the LGBTQ population, and people with disabilities. 

Scrolling through social media was like an emotional roller coaster. Living in a conservative part of the country will do that to you. On one hand there were empowering messages about activism and enacting change, while others told me to get over it, that my generation was so used to winning things that I needed to stop being such a cry-baby. 

But I’m not going to get over it. 

 And don’t call me a fucking cry-baby. 

In that moment, I peeled myself off of my couch. I did my hair. I put on my pro-choice t-shirt and went to work at the place that has given me purpose since the beginning of the year. I talked with my amazing coworkers who were just as shell-shocked as I was. I cried more because I couldn't believe anyone would threaten to take this away from us.

On the way home, I saw a 17 year-old homeless and pregnant young person a coworker and I had been in contact with because she was seeking a resource to better understand how she was going to be a parent. Her belly was bigger and she looked healthy. I was happy for that, and then immediately overwhelmed because her child will be born into a world that will diminish their experience based on the child's race and/or gender.

That day was a day I'm glad I was able to get over myself and show up. I will show up tomorrow too and continue to do this job until some old white dude tells me I can't. I will continue to support women. I will continue to fight for my voice to be heard.

Come at me Trump.



Wednesday, October 19, 2016

HI.

Yesterday I turned 30 years old.
Today I remembered how much I missed this.

The thing is, a lot has changed. 

My work at Planned Parenthood of the Heartland has changed me. It has opened me to face so many important realities and perceived shared values that build the foundation our surrounding communities, the challenges they're up against (including themselves sometimes), and the results that limits their youth's potential under the guise of 'protecting' them. I immersed myself in these new experiences. Protesters yelling at me about how I should be embarrassed to do the work I do, offering to find me a new job. I stood in a basement at a library in Shenandoah, IA with masses of people spouting misinformation, distrust and judgment at the people who were only trying to help their young people. I've heard women talk about their abortions (and without regret), about the long history of limiting women's access to basic reproductive health services. It's not always an easy job, but it's one I find great reward and growth doing. I am especially lucky to work with some truly exceptional people whose dedication to the improvement of the health and knowledge of their communities is astounding, especially in the face of adversity from some small-minded folks. 

In the midst of all of this work, this transition, I lost my enamoring relationship with this town. But it's time I fix that.

So hello again. How have you been?

Monday, February 8, 2016

In Rapture ((Week of Feb 8))

  • I want to go to there
  • I'm loving Alicia Vikander right now which means I really love this little film. 

  • God Bless you Benicio 

  • Yeah, I'd see this if it came to Omaha. 

Monday, February 1, 2016

In Rapture ((Week of Feb 1))

  • Planned Parenthood has officially endorsed Hillary Clinton and regardless of what you think about Ms. Clinton's politics, this is a good read that explains why PP has endorsed Hillary. We as women cannot let the GOP jabronis take away our basic right to reproductive options including birth control and legal abortion. 

  • An important read about The Danish Girl and why Hollywood and especially the Academy Awards need to start casting trans roles with trans actors and all around just be more inclusive. If you want to keep reading, the piece referenced about the problem with the emerging Gender Novel genre has a lot of interesting information too. 
  • Some candid moments with plus size models

Badass Ladies

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Sunday Evening Meditation

All of these videos are so inspiring and a wonderful reminder of the truth behind the importance of reproductive care for women




Wednesday, January 27, 2016

It's been a great couple of weeks. So good in fact, I've barely taken any pictures...interesting how that works. 


Monday, January 25, 2016

In Rapture ((Week of Jan 25))

  • Oh boy, this read on the speculation regarding how women age is an important one. Reading some of the actual things written about Carrier Fisher is simply astonishing. Interesting, how some men make things like a woman's attractiveness as she ages their business. This piece also lightly touches a very real issue of how many women are held back by society's standard of thin beauty. That item about how Weight Watchers only works because there are repeat customers says a lot. 
  • Loving this minimal, industrial, and colorful look at the textile industry. 
Christopher Payne Textiles
Taylor Castle
  • Well this just put what little embroidery game I have to shame
Danielle Clough

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Staycation

I started the year off with a little staycation as I transitioned to my brand new job at Planned Parenthood. The weather was cold, foggy, snowy and then frozen, which made it perfect for a staycation. I cleaned up my house, did laundry, took down Christmas stuff, hung out a ton with Bebop, read and drank coffee, enjoyed some leisurely lunches. All of it was just wonderful. I could really get used to this not working thing (just kidding I was so going nuts, I couldn't wait to get back to work). 








Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Snow Day Hanscom Dog Park

Because when you find yourself with a day off, you should take your dog who has been soooooo bored because of the cold to the dog park. 








Monday, January 18, 2016

In Rapture ((Week of Jan 18))

  • My name's in the paper today and I didn't even get arrested!
  • Digging this article on 2016 style resolutions. 
  • Ugh, articles like this make me worry so much for today's mothers and women in general. 
  • I made a goal to read 25 books this year and boy am I glad Esquire corrected their misogyny by releasing this list of 80 books we all should read. 
Esquire's 80 Books Everyone Must Read
  • This makes me want to go and get pierced. 
Ear Piercings

    Saturday, January 16, 2016

    Golden Morning Light

    I know I may sound insane, but I actually secretly love when the weather turns sub-zero. There's a starkness and contrast unlike any other time of year. The air is paralytic. Allowing the sun to meet its dawn breaks its bones. It's what I enjoy about living in the midwest. There's a true honestly in the brutality of winter. It fills your lungs and burns your face and dries your skin. To survive it is like surviving a fight with a significant other. You come out the other end with a fresh consciousness and appreciation for what you have.




    Thursday, January 14, 2016

    Flagship Commons

    When I had some time off last week, I met a few friends at the newly opened Flagship Commons and let me tell you all, this shit is legit.


    Wednesday, January 13, 2016

    PREACH

    M's

    I think at one point or another, we’ve all made M’s Pub our home, even if just for an hour. M’s was accustomed to being host to those celebrating birthdays, family, successes or nothing at all. And such a good host it was. 

    My heart goes out to all of the businesses and people affected by this fire. Nebraska winters are brutal, but what fresh consciousness it brings once it’s over. We will rebuild, we will rise, we will share our memories knowing that there are more to be made.











    Tuesday, January 12, 2016

    DT WW ((Downtown Winter Wonderland))

    As kind of an annual thing, I enjoy coming down to the Gene Leahy mall when they have all of those lovely lights up. It truly captures the magic of Omaha around this time of year.